hopeless

this is my first day without her. and i miss her already.

for purely selfish reasons, i wish she hadn't made that decision. i can count a million and one reasons why it didn't make sense for her to do this. but that was "me" thinking.

one of the greatest things she taught me was to break outside of me and do things differently.

live dangerously, take chances, who cares what someone else thinks? a 10-minute walk in the middle of the afternoon is good for the soul. leave on time, even early sometimes. leave even earlier on fridays.

my wild-eyed friend pulled another trick from her bag. she resigned. she decided to leave her unhappiness with the direction of her life, the stresses that made it worse. it was time, she said. all i needed was the kick in the ass to do it. and like always when she made up her mind, she did it.


i admire hope for many reasons, the greatest of these is her ability to befriend everyone. never in a saccharine way, but she has an uncanny ability to empathize with everyone she meets. whereas many people would be stuck in their own bubble oblivious to the outside world (count me in this group), she said hello to strangers. she's someone who can and will strike up a conversation and truly effect change in that person.

selfishly, i wish she could have stuck it out, took a vacation, cleared her head, whatever was needed to right herself. yet i know, she DID take the right action. she took a risky move and only time will tell how it pays off, but in someways, it already has.

she's happy again.