fattened calves

having fat calves is a sure sign that the devil is a man.

why else would the devil tempt me with such pretty high-heeled boots if i should just deny myself entirely of their guilty pleasure?

okay, that may be stretching it but try finding stretchy boots that can cover long "athletic" calves (read: manly and muscular) and you'll better understand the nature of sin and desire. so many pretty boots. sexy boots, kitten boots. but not boots to fit around my big boys.

the devil wears prada?
before the booty welcome wagon rolls into town to pity me, i do own one pair of high, black boots. but there's no sexy heel. nothing quite fun or flirty about these. they fit but don't quite seal the deal. utilitarian in form and function.

who writes home about that? besides, even those live most of the year with the remains of misfit socks balled up in the calf to help stretch the stretchy fabric even further.

fits fat calves and kicks ass
when i wore doc martin's this was never an issue. the laceup feature allowed even chunky calves like mine a chance to be "fashionable". (albeit in this case, rebellious. like every other 18-year-old sporting them.)

the therapist was wrong -- i can blame you for something
genetics unfortunately play a major part in this body part. unlike if i try to wear thigh-high stockings and the roll of pudge pops out the top, these calves aren't my punishment for eating too many of my pal lisa's cookies.

oh no, the blame for this lies strictly on my family. well, my grandmother actually, one fine inheritance of manly calves and icy blue eyes.