learning to juggle

as this 3-month project at work winds down to a close, i think my middle-of-the-night cold sweats will stop. the million moving parts that i have been responsible for delegating, reviewing, compiling, approving and finalizing are finally slowing down.

the blur that these last few weeks have been -- the sinking feeling of drowning -- of being pulled in more than one direction -- of feeling completely incompetent -- piles of paperwork -- post-its clinging for dear life on my monitor -- emails multiplying like rabbits in my inbox -- the long hours and late trains -- the incessant red blinking light on my phone signaling more questions, more comments, more requests for my time -- should end with it.

my boss emailed me today to tell me how proud she is of me and what a great job i did on managing this process. i thanked her for her compliment and told her it feels like i learned how to juggle knives blindfolded.