them's fightin' words

celebrating the end of a stress-filled week with shots of crown royal with co-workers is probably not a good thing. i am fairly proud of myself though. after 3, possibly 4 shots of whiskey and at least as many hard cider drinks, i remained standing with any assistance from the wall or other objects. i managed to not get sick or start a fight. and that my friends is a beautiful thing.

they say everyone's true colors come out when they are inebriated. guards are let-down, internal walls and self-censoring mechanisms are broken, true intentions become self-evident. if this is true, then by my very nature, i won't go down without a fight.

some people get giggly and laugh a little too loud over stupid things. this is not me. i will laugh but more often, i will just spray whatever it is that i happen to be drinking -- red wine, white wine, hard cider -- when caught off-guard with something funny is said in my buzzed presence. last night, it was the announcement that "everyone knows butt babies don't live" in a conversation about sex that caused me to spray lisa down with a mouthful of cider. come to think of it, it was lisa's mention of vibrator-as-homing device at another restaurant that caused me to spit wine, not only over most to the guests seated at our table, but also at the table behind us. i have exceptional aim when i choose to, obviously.

my drinking downfall (besides the spitting) is that i get beer muscles from drinking too much wine. i get argumentative and ballsy. if threatened, my goddess, you better come strong or don't come at all. i have thrown trained punches at a friend's head, knowing i did not intend to hit it but still unnerving him by the swishy feeling of air at the nape of his neck as hit expected a blow to the back of the head.

seriously though, i have been in more fights when sober than drunk and far less in my late twenties than in my early twenties and teen-age years. still though every time, i go to a happy hour or other drinking occassion, i worry that the she-devil in me will awaken, and that she will uncork all of those things i keep hidden inside, exposing my secrets like opening pandora's box.