like i did on the train several weeks back. a fellow train traveler had been looking, well, different lately. my feral pack of train buddies and i observed one day.
"was she pregnant?"
"packing on the pounds?"
"packing on the pounds?"
my position on the platform prevented me from getting a good look at her, well enough to curry an opinion. i waited until she was standing and about to get off the train to sneak a look.
well, obviously, i wasn't so sneaky. the train conductor caught me checking her out. as my friend caught the conductor checking me check out her, my friend grabbed my arm. "abort. abort." she hushed through clenched teeth while pinching me.
actually, it was her fingers in my flesh that finally woke me from my observational state. she could have screamed the pledge of allegiance in my ear but i was mentally taking notes and as a blonde, it required all brain power focused on the task at hand.
thankfully the object of my stare never caught on to what was happening. afterwards, i received a thorough interrogation from the conductor as to why i was hating on her.
(two good things to know: one, i am friendly enough with the conductor for him to ask this of me; and two, i make faces when in observation mode. my lip curls, i squint. i probably grow horns and a swishy tail too, but that hasn't been pointed out to me yet.) i went back to whatever conversations my buds and i were having before i got dubbed "completely obvious woman".
i wasn't hating though, i was observing. something we all do. we all compare others against the traits we hold in high regard. whether it's body image, hairstyle, clothing, career, religious piety (or lack thereof) we use these to compare and contrast you against them. how they rate. where we fall short.
it's only natural the mental exchange that occurs. it's a compare and contrast book report in your head. the only sad part is when people act on this knowledge.
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